We Suffer More In Our Heads Than We Ever Do In Real Life…

Your life can be calm, but your head will still find a way to create chaos.

Like overthinking simple situations instead of taking them as they are.

For example: someone doesn’t reply to your text. Or they don’t call you back.

And immediately your mind starts running: they don’t want to talk to me, if they really cared they’d have replied already, I said something wrong, they’re pulling away.

Meanwhile, in reality, they could just be busy. 

Or tired. 

Or not in the position to respond at that moment. The reality is usually way less dramatic than the story you created. I know you've been there.

Another example: before a test or an important meeting.

You prepare, yes. You’ve done your part. 

But instead of stopping there, your brain goes wild. What if I fail? What if I mess up? What if I freeze? What if the meeting goes bad?

You end up stressing yourself out before anything even happens. When you could just… wait. See how it goes first. Chances are it’ll go fine , especially since you prepared.

And that’s the pattern.

Nothing bad has happened yet, but you’re already suffering.

Another big one for me: Anxiety 

Your partner is quieter than usual or acting different, and your brain immediately turns it into it’s about me, they don’t love me anymore, I did something, this is the beginning of the end.

When in reality, you could just ask. One conversation could save you hours (or days) of unnecessary anxiety. Again, reality vs what’s happening in your head.

Same thing with worrying about life in general.

You spend so much time worrying about the future. 

Money, career, where you’ll be in five years instead of just doing what you can today. Taking small steps. 

Moving forward. You’re mentally exhausted from worrying, but nothing has actually happened yet.

Even things like waiting.

Waiting for results. Waiting for answers. Waiting for clarity.

Your brain fills the silence with worst-case scenarios, even when there’s no evidence for any of it.

The common thread in all of this?

Most of the suffering happens before reality even shows up.

I’m not saying don’t care. Or don’t think. Or don’t prepare.

I’m saying don’t live entirely in your head. It’s not always a reliable place.

Reality is usually simpler. Quieter. Less cruel than the stories we tell ourselves.

So yeah. We really do suffer more in our heads than we do in real life.

And maybe the move isn’t to think harder, but to be more present.

To live what’s actually happening, not what might happen.

See you on my next💜

Ciao!👋